Digital Taverns of the Malevolent Beings

I'm bored.

I don't find sunshine to be specifically entertaining, nor the bipedal elephant with guns.

How did I get here?

Here, I Fell Again

Freya Griffin: i never ever learn
Freya Griffin: its like serving my head on a silver platter
Freya Griffin: my still beating heart for desert
Freya Griffin: a delicacy if you please
Freya Griffin: a blind sacrifice I made
Freya Griffin: coz I never ever learn
Poetic Lunatic: even if it tastes the same, but still you want more!
Freya Griffin: taste? its mere bitterness that disilussioned me of sweetness
Freya Griffin: i surrender to yet another emptiness
Freya Griffin: am I not worthy of it? this illusion, this enchantment called love?
Poetic Lunatic: hahaha
Poetic Lunatic: that's the addictive part, hunny
Freya Griffin: am i really that massochistic?
Poetic Lunatic: i guess

===

Hear, hear
You with the bewitching smile, bewitching pair of green eyes
I have fallen
Should I be more loud and obvious?

City Lovers

City Lovers

Every meeting seems a sort of miracle
They cannot bear to think about, as if
To think of it could only work them ill
In future when their arms must fall away
And each turn to his mortal prosody,
The muted happenstance of day-to-day.

Half in, half out of time love guarantees
Safe conduct for them as they venture out
Among the whistling knife-edged certainties,
Their vulnerability in times apart
Becomes unfailing talisman to these
Jaywalkers in the main street of the heart.

So in the lyric moments when they meet
Neither will give utterance to that care
Which is their fond familiar, the discreet
Unanswerable ghost they can't dismiss,
Who comforts and distracts them everywhere
And is their blindfold reason when they kiss.

-----Bruce Dawe

Nightmare

I started my day with a dream of waking up late at two pm. Not very good. I hurried and hurried and in the middle of the blurry hurry I suddenly thought to myself "but this is just a dream." Since it was resolutely nightmare-ish I decided I need to wake up from it and escape.

So I touched my cheek. I could feel it. I pinched my cheek, I can vaguely felt the pinching. Just slightly. So it's not a dream perhaps. It's not. I mean, if it was why am I not waking up yet? I started to doubt myself knowing whether it's a dream or not. The sounds were real, the temperature was real, but the colours were slightly wrong. In a vague sense of panic I forced myself to wake up.

I turned my head to the right and saw my bedroom forming in front of me in an awkward angle.

It was a dream after all. And I've waken up from it.

I reached for my watch. 09:30. I am late. But atleast not as late as waking up at 2 pm.

This Is What It Was Like For Me

The attack of the despair of going nowhereness. The worries about nothing and everything. In this condition when darkness surrounds, a minute seems like an eternity, all hopes are lost in the midst of one's clouded mind and impaired judgement. The fear of never getting out of it. Nothing seems to make the feeling better. Nothing helps.

The hunger that cannot be replenished, the thirst that cannot be quenched. Everything drank and eaten taste like nothing. Just nothing. The chill in a warm sunny weather, the lights that blinded the eyes, the deafening emptiness of a crowded space, the numbness towards any form of emotions. All these people around and yet the hollow inside swallows everything like a blackhole devouring from inside out.

Laughter. Laughter bounced echoes in the empty walls inside my head. Laughter is but another noise the soul failed to decipher. Everything went on in automatic. Forgetting what happiness was like, when it was just the otherweek spent with friends and laughing with glee and merriments.

What was it that I'm about to do? What am I here for?
There was something important about all of this, but what, it escaped the mind.

At this point, something behind the numbness faintly registered something: cry for help.

So I cried.
















but

no help.

I Accidentally Put My Foot in My Mouth on Tuesday

Extra mellow today if I may.
Started the day in an odd place and equally odd situation.
Had a long nap and woke up feeling a lil bit dazed.
Made a stupid decision of an inquiry. Quickly felt aweful afterwards.
Can't read can't write can't think.
Effortlessly feeling like crap for the rest of the afternoon.
Mentally lethargic.
He showed up, a spark of joy short-livened before returning to vegetative state of mind.
And the Cardigans kept on singing in my head...


sick, tired and homeless
with no one here to sing for
tired of being weightless
for all these looking good boys

you can always say my attic has its charm
you can always say you did no major harm
you can always say that summer had its charm
and that you did no major harm
oh, spare me if you please

sick, tired an sleepless
with no one else to shine for
sick of all my distress
but I won't show I'm still poor

you can always say my attic has its charm
you can always say you did no major harm
you can always say that summer had its charm
and that you did no major harm
oh, spare me if you please

symptoms are so deep
something here's so wrong
nothing is complete
nowhere to belong
symptoms are so deep
I think I'd better stay
here on my own
so spare me if you please =====

I have been thinking ceaselessly about the Island for a week now. Please tell me I'm not going crazy.

It Hurts To Be Beautiful

My ribcage is bruised.
My feet were dying that I had to resuscitate it.
But the best part of last night was my mascara.
It stayed on despite of the ceaseless batting!