This Is What It Was Like For Me

The attack of the despair of going nowhereness. The worries about nothing and everything. In this condition when darkness surrounds, a minute seems like an eternity, all hopes are lost in the midst of one's clouded mind and impaired judgement. The fear of never getting out of it. Nothing seems to make the feeling better. Nothing helps.

The hunger that cannot be replenished, the thirst that cannot be quenched. Everything drank and eaten taste like nothing. Just nothing. The chill in a warm sunny weather, the lights that blinded the eyes, the deafening emptiness of a crowded space, the numbness towards any form of emotions. All these people around and yet the hollow inside swallows everything like a blackhole devouring from inside out.

Laughter. Laughter bounced echoes in the empty walls inside my head. Laughter is but another noise the soul failed to decipher. Everything went on in automatic. Forgetting what happiness was like, when it was just the otherweek spent with friends and laughing with glee and merriments.

What was it that I'm about to do? What am I here for?
There was something important about all of this, but what, it escaped the mind.

At this point, something behind the numbness faintly registered something: cry for help.

So I cried.
















but

no help.