Better Luck Next Time

Two A.M.
You felt like you're about to explode. You had a bottle of pills ready at hand. Cold water from the tap. Found yourself in the mirror. So familiar and yet unknown. Who is this creature? Secretly admired it. Standing so tall, perfect. A perfect nuisance. It was in pain.
You suddenly remembered you were about to explode. How could you forget such an important thing? Is it your system. Is it in your head? Is it far? Is it near? Why are you standing there looking at yourself?
You don't recognize her anymore.
What was that? It was important two minutes a go.
Maybe some fresh air would help. Ok, how about some music? Better make it a cheerful one. No...wait, a contemplative one. You needed some thinking. Deep thinking.
The bottle was still in your hand. You did realised it. You didn't want to remember it.
OMG what am I doing?
Maybe it was nothing.
Three A.M.
You tried to talk to someone. Nobody rises that early. You tried to reach someone.
But you couldn't. You shouldn't. It's your own life. Your own doing. Your private pain. Your silent burden. Nobody else's. They don't deserve this. Nobody does.
Do you?

There's no indication of
What we were meant to be
Sucking up to strangers
Throwing wishes to the sea